not purchased any furniture in a long time -- so long I don't
even want to think about it. After all, who needs furniture?
Once you buy it, it lasts forever, except maybe an upholstered
piece or two, but even that can be recovered and made like new.
I've been thinking about my home lately. It is
always dangerous when a woman thinks about her home, especially
in the spring. We are sitting scrunched up in a small
bedroom-turned-office with computers and a TV, while in the
front of the house there is a large living room that is hardly
touched at all. It just doesn't make sense.
We need to utilize our space differently and
start taking advantage of the space we have instead of saving it
-- what are we saving it for? Company? Company doesn't have to
live here, but I do and my elbows are tired of bumping into
We need some new furniture, something that looks
decent instead of the make-do mess that is good enough for the
office, but not for the living room. We need something for the
TV and all the junk that goes with it. We can move the TV to the
living room to utilize our space, but we can't have that tacky
TV sitting in the living room in its current black, plastic
It's time to go shopping.
Now, just walk in a furniture store and look as
if you have come to spend money and the sales people are on you
like vultures on carrion. "What are you looking for
today?" "Let me show you this one." "Did you
see that one over there?"
When I shopped for furniture back in the dark
ages, life was much simpler. Nowadays a TV needs a media center
with cabinets for components, expandable bridges over the top,
and glass shelves. I had no idea of the sort of stuff that is on
We are led around the cavernous store in a daze.
I want everything I see and each item is prettier, and more
expensive, than the last. But, eventually, everything begins to
look the same and it all sort of blends together in one giant
wall unit. I can't remember what I saw , where I saw it, how
much it cost, what size it was, or anything else -- even though
I thought I was being smart by writing information down.
We wander around furniture stores that are all
the same; looking at furniture that is all the same, while
smiling salespeople that are all the same follow us sniffing.
This item is sort of what we want, and that one is better but
not exactly it either. That one is too expensive and we might be
able to afford that one, but it is not the right size.
"How do you get out of here? I need time to
think." Our only chance is when a young couple that looks
newlywed walks in the door. "I think I'm being paged,"
says the salesperson, as he excuses himself. "Here, take my
I'm beginning to wonder if rearranging the house
is such a good idea after all. We may be cramped and tacky, but
at least we don't have to spend all our free time on furniture
store expeditions. My head hurts, my knees ache, and I need to
go to the bathroom.
Believe it or not, there are still some other
stores that my honey wants to look at before we buy as if I'm
not confused enough already. Maybe sooner or later we will find
something that is the right style, right price, right wood, and
In the meantime, my cramped little office is
becoming smaller and smaller every day. I'm beginning to
hallucinate that I'm being stalked by a furniture salesman with
a remote control, which changes furniture from one style to
another, one size to another, and one item to another.
If we could only find the remote button that
lowers the price, we might be ready to buy.