Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
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Online Since 1999
||My Refrigerator Hates Me....
My Refrigerator Hates Me!
refrigerator hates me! I curse the day I bought that thing. I had no
choice, or at least not much of a choice. My ancient relic from
prehistoric times had finally quit. I needed something new, and I
needed it today.
We went down to the friendly appliance store, the
one with salesmen standing around smiling like alligators. They
smiled even more when they found out I was desperate. To make a long
story short, I bought a refrigerator, an expensive new stainless
I had not researched Consumer Reports, or checked
out customer comments on the Internet. All I could do was go by
looks and the one I finally picked was the Robert Redford of
refrigerators. It was a handsome side-by-side with an ice and water
dispenser in the door. It even crushed ice. It was truly a piece of
It wasn't until I got it home that I found out it
was the Abominable Snow Fridge.
First it was a leak from the ice-maker that ruined
the floor. I was blissfully ignorant of its sadistic nature and
before I knew what happened, the kitchen floor buckled up. That was
an incident that my homeowner's insurance and I do not wish to
remember. Suffice it to say, it was a nightmare.
Eventually, the floor was replaced, the refrigerator
repaired, and things went back to normal. But it was hardly any time
until I the ice maker quit working. How could something that looked
so good be so bad? I called the appliance guy and, of course, it
could not be fixed without replacing the entire ice-maker.
By then I had become leery of the monster in my
kitchen. It had picked up a few scratches and dents. It was looking
more like the scar-face monster that it really was.
Then one day I found it leaking again. Ah, ha! I
caught you before you could ruin the floor! After that, it was war.
I turned off the ice-maker when I was not at home. I bought a water
alarm to put behind it.
But the refrigerator was not discouraged. It played
a trump. The ice-cream melted. Everything melted. I lost an entire
freezer full of food.
I called my BFF the appliance guy again. I was his
best customer by now.
"It might be the fan -- It might be the coil --
it might be the thermostat – it might be the compressor."
"But it is only 7 years old," I protested.
"They don't make 'em like they used to,"
he informed me. "Seven years is about all you can expect. Most
people just throw them out when they break down and buy a new
I'm living 50 years behind the times expecting thing
to be repairable. Nothing is fixable any more. It's a throwaway
society. Later I found that it was the compressor causing it to
freeze up. It would cost more to fix it than it was worth.
It was time for a divorce.
This time I checked Consumer Reports. Can you
believe a top freezer holds more frozen food than a side-by-side or
a freezer on the bottom? I tried defrosting old scar-face to get a
few more days out of it, but this refrigerator fought until its last
breath of Freon.
My new refrigerator will be delivered today. I
bought a different brand, one with a freezer on top and no ice
In a way, I'm glad that the old one will be out of
my life. I want a marriage with a fridge that loves me, that is
happy to have a forever home, that will provide me with ice cubes
and cold milk as long as we both shall live.
Copyright 2015 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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