Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
To carry her weekly column in your
to republish an
article, please contact her. It's that easy.
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Online Since 1999
was born yesterday, fell off a turnip truck, and am not playing
with a full deck.
I donít have a SPAM filter or know how to block an email
address and I read all my email, especially the ones offering
drugs, sex, and online poker. I believe every word I read. They
couldnít say it if it wasnít true!
I use my real name on chatboards, and register online with my
actual date of birth. I shop online and donít worry about
insecure servers or someone stealing my credit card number. Thatís how I became a lifetime member
of the NRA.
I read all the letters I receive online from people whose
husbands were tragically killed, leaving them the sole heir to a large sum of
money of which they will give me half -- if I help them get it out of
Nigeria. Iím sitting here just waiting for my share when they deposit the
money in my checking account using my bank account number and PIN that I
I always fill in subscription forms and give out my email
address for online mailing lists. If I donít like their newsletters, I can always
unsubscribe. You never know, I might miss out on something I really like
otherwise. I wonder if thatís why I receive the daily newsletters on bungee
jumping, knitting doorknob covers, and cooking with garlic?
I canít understand why PayPal thinks that someone else is
attempting to use my account. But I clicked the link they sent,
and gave them my correct ID and password to verify that it was
really me, so that should take care of that problem. Funny how I
seem to be getting the same notice from my bank and even from
banks Iíve never heard of.
I order from any seller on the net that has something I like.
Iím not really concerned about verified sellers. I canít possibly check the
history of every single one of them. Of course, Iím still trying to
figure out how to return the size 14 shoes I received. The company seems to have
moved their website and my email always bounces.
I donít worry about computer viruses and open all my attachments. Iím not really too worried about some unknown
virus. Besides I run virus protection and a popup blocker and
clean the spyware off my system every once in a while if I
happened to think about it. You must be mistaken. Iím sure it
isn't my computer that sent you that virus.
Yes, I was born yesterday, fell off a turnip truck, and am a few
cards short of a full deck. I am running on empty, out to lunch,
and dancing out of step. I have bugs in my program, a loose
wire, and forgot to punch the time clock.
Thereís a sucker born every minute, so I must have a lot of
company out there, at least thatís the way it seems. A thousand emails a
month canít be wrong.
And if you believe a word of what Iíve said, you must have
been born yesterday as well. Itís tough work but somebody has to be
stupid enough to believe this stuff and keep the spammers,
scammers, spoofers, and phishers in business. Welcome to the
Copyright 2005 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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