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Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the Columnists.com, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
Humorists.com
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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My Cat Can Fly...
 


My Cat Can Fly

My cat can fly. 
 
Less you be confused, my cat cannot fly like a bird.  Misty flies more like Superman, minus the cape, that is, leaping tall buildings in a single bound.  All cats can jump, of course, but Misty seems to have extraordinary abilities in this particular feline skill.
 
Misty has always preferred high places.  As a kitten, she climbed the curtains to the top of the living room curtains, where she paced back and forth with the cat-footed precision of a tightrope walker, surveying the mortal world below. 
 
As she became older and stronger, she simply bounded in a long graceful leap from the back of a chair to the top of the curtains.  She then took her afternoon power nap on the top of a nearby hutch that could be reached in an easy jump from the curtains. 
 
Misty had an instinctive love for the top of the world.  She looked at other tall places with longing eyes, wondering how she could surmount the distances. 
 
Her next conquest was the kitchen china cabinet.  It was simply a matter of leaping from the table, a place she was not allowed to be. But risking human wrath was of little consequence when aiming for a lofty goal.  The china cabinet quickly became a new favorite nesting spot for her afternoon nap. But even in the lap of contentment she became restless and longed for taller mountains to climb. 
 
The living room had an entertainment center so tall it was nearly to the ceiling. Misty surveyed it with squinted yellow eyes, but the leap was too far, the risk of embarrassment too great.  She could see the Promised Land, but could not enter in.
 
Then one day, she discovered that by bouncing from a low wall by the doorway, she could maybe accelerate herself to the top of the coveted piece of furniture.  It was a miraculous feat, a leap that required gliding over 6 feet in the air.  Unafraid, she sailed to the top of the entertainment center, landing with sure-footed precision. 
 
Once she found that she could do it, there was no stopping her.  She now soared to the top of the china hutch from newly found, and more challenging, jump-off spots.  If a human happened to walk by when she was ready to leap, she would jump right over the top of their surprised head. 
 
From the entertainment center, she flew to the drapery rod.  From there she soared to the hutch, and finally to the one remaining place where she had not yet set foot, a twin hutch on the other side of the fireplace.  Mortals could scarcely believe their eyes the day they saw her defy gravity to leap over the entire width of the fireplace and land on new terrain. 
 
The top of the refrigerator and the top of kitchen cabinets were minor conquests for a cat that could fly.  She hardly bothered with them at all, preferring more challenging places where she could soar from furniture top to furniture top, aloof and safe, high above the earthbound world of mere humans. 
 
Misty spent her days lounging on her back, sometimes precariously close to the edge of disaster, while daydreaming of rooftops, hot air balloons, para-sailing and rocket ships to outer space.  If NASSA accepted cats, its certain she would apply to be an astrocat. 
 
Being a young and daring cat, Misty possesses the strength and prowess that enabled these miraculous leaps, along with the fearless spirit of youth that has not experienced failure.  She has not yet learned what is impossible and, therefore, should not be attempted.
 
Downward plunges when she jumps from top of her lofty perches are merely a fast lane to the floor. She defies gravity as she glides through the air with a graceful feline confidence that eludes earthbound creatures who can only watch in awe.
 
Misty can fly. 


Copyright 2008 Sheila Moss
 
 



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