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Meet the
Columnist
Columnist, Sheila
Moss, is a free-lance writer from Tennessee. She writes
funny stuff about southern life, women's issues, family
matters and anything else that she finds amusing.
She is
seen weekly in the Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, Daily News of Kingsport (online) and
appears in a monthly humor publication called Foolish
Times. She has written for Atlanta Woman Magazine,
and a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books have recently published a number of her
articles in their Let There Be Laughter series of
books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous other publications, both print and online.
She is a board member and the Web
Editor of Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
Columnists, the
oldest and largest professional organization
for news columnists. She is also the Web Editor of
SouthernHumorists.com, as well as this website, HumorColumnist.com.
To carry her self- syndicated weekly column in your
newspaper, or
to republish an
article, please contact her.
He rates are guaranteed affordable. It's that easy.
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Rest of the Story.... |
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The Rest of the Story
Driving
in snow was not one of our planned activities, but while driving from
Nashville to Orlando in January, it snowed on us in Atlanta. We
thought we were going away from winter weather, not into it. The snow
seemed to be trying to follow us.
The door frame on the car was lower than I am used to and I kept
bumping my head when I would get in or out. Disneyland is billed as
“The Place Where Dreams Come True,” but I hadn’t intended to
knock myself in the head to see.
There are a lot of orange trees in Central Florida. I thought they
only grew in orange groves, where they are planted, but apparently
they grow wild too -- either that or the birds planted a lot of seeds.
I had the same idea about palm trees, but they are
native too, or at least some species are.
People keep asking me if I took my grandchildren to Disney World. It
may seem a bit strange for adults to go to Disney World without
children, but there actually are a lot of things for adults to do. In
fact, both Disney and Universal have areas with night clubs that are
geared towards adults instead of kids.
We wanted to get caricatures drawn while at Universal. My sister and
brother in law didn’t want one, so they decided they would wait for
us in Pat O’Brien’s, one of the clubs. After the pictures were
finished, we joined them. It was a fun place and I would say more, but
better to just say what happens in Pat O’Brien’s stays at Pat
O’Brien’s.
The bill for souvenirs turned out to be a pretty good chunk of change.
They sell these cute Disney character pins from kiosks all over the
place. They encourage you to collect them; one or two isn’t enough.
The gift shops are a good place to wait, and all the rides end in one.
That’s why I bought so many pens and key chains -- at least that’s
my story anyhow.
At one point, I decided to get a frozen margarita from one of the
kiosks at Epcot and had to pay $9 for it. While I was drinking it,
everyone decided to go on one of the few rides that were tame enough
for me to ride. I was not allowed to take food with me, so everyone
ended up standing around waiting for me to finish drinking it. No way
was I throwing away a $9 drink! Later we decided to eat Mexican fast
food. Never eat Mexican fast food after drinking a margarita as fast
as you can and riding a ride.
We were lured into a timeshare presentation by promises of free food
and discounted tickets. It isn’t worth the aggravation, folks. I
would give them food and cheap tickets to avoid sitting through it.
Talk about high pressure sales tactics. After it was over, the ticket
guy had two price lists, one for the suckers and one for the people
that remembered what they were promised before the presentation.
Nobody we met there was a native of Florida. I suppose that it was
because we were in the places where tourists go, places that natives
avoid. My honey is obsessed with looking for people from Pennsylvania
since he used to live there. It seems that there are a lot of people
from Pennsylvania who move to Florida to get away from the cold
weather.
We were tired and overslept the morning we were supposed to leave.
Fortunately, I had packed the night before. After dragging all the
suitcases and bags of souvenirs on the elevator and downstairs to the
car, we realized too late that the place had luggage carts.
Orlando was a lot of fun and I’m ready to do it again – just as
soon as I rest for about 10 years.
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Copyright 2008 Sheila Moss
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Sheila Moss
Humor Columnist
PO Box 198019
Nashville TN 37219
E-mail

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