Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
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Online Since 1999
||Festival, Second Time Around...
Festival, Second Time Around
I could have had a really good time at the
Renaissance Festival this year, but I just couldn't seem to get
into the spirit. I'm not exactly sure why, but Barry Manilow was
wrong about love being lovelier the second time around. Last year
the festival was new and fresh but this year it was just
the same old, same old.
There were knights in shiny armor to sweep fair maidens away.
Somehow the idea of being swept away by a knight seemed a bit
silly for an adult, even for a fair maiden like myself. I tried to
get into the mood by watching some of the shows, but somehow they
all seemed more for the purpose of tips than for entertaining.
The renaissance theme seemed to inspire people to try to talk like
they were in a Shakespeare play, "Yes, me lady, " was
said with dramatic emphasis, loudly and often Some of the visitors
got into the spirit, shouting Old English insults from the
audience. Maybe it was because I can't speak Old English, but I
spent most of my time trying to figure out where my bottle of
water had rolled under the bench.
The actors had correct dress for the period with tights and high
boots for the men. I guess maybe I don't go for guys in tights.
The girdles, and long dresses that ladies wore wore looked really
hot and uncomfortable. I never learned to sweat in a delicate way.
There were so many weird people running around that it was hard to
tell those just pretending to be weird from those who really were.
Of course, the real spoiler for me was the crafts. I had in mind a
particular item similar to something I bought there last year.
Alas, it was not to be. There were flashy crystals and zodiac
jewelry, but not the pretty, but cheap, glass charms like the year
before. I hope someone took note and will take care of this for
I cornered my daughter and made her promise not to let my grandson
buy another plastic sword. The good news is he didn't get a
plastic sword. The bad news is that he got a wooden one instead.
I could have had my fortune told in the psychic lady's tent, but I
wouldn't be able to tell you five minutes later what was said. The
strange bird lady was there again too, telling how wonderful
falcons and birds of prey are, but I just thought of the buzzards
I had seen in the road eating road kill. The knights rode horses
and jousted. I wondered if it was for real or just like
professional wresting where they simply put on a show.
The tour of the castle was different. It seems that one person's
dream was to build a castle of his very own and he has worked a
lifetime on the endeavor. A bit odd, to say the least, but it did
give a nice anchoring point for the festival. After seeing actual
castles in Europe, however, the homemade version was not too
impressive. I don't think I would like living in a castle unless
it had central air and heating.
I could have bought a tall souvenir glass of beer like the other
people who were wandering around, but what do you do with a foot
high plastic glass when you get home? I could also have eaten a
fried turkey leg but I could find the stand and was overcome by
hunger conveniently in front of the fish and chips vendor.
So, another merry month of May, another Renaissance Faire. The
best thing I found about the faire was the kettle popcorn. But if
it hadn't been for Barry Manilow being so wrong, I could have had
a really good time.
Copyright 2006 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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