Humor Columnist



















Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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Facts About Fathers....

Facts About Fathers

  • Never forget, if it wasnít for your father, you wouldnít be here.
  • No matter how old you are, you are still a snotty-nose kid to your dad.
  • Fathers donít get paid for a job well done Ė unless you count their satisfaction.
  • When a father says "no," he really means, "ask your mother."
  • What father says is law. But thatís because kids are not old enough to vote yet.
  • Your father knows more about you than you think he does Ė but you can trust him not to tell.
  • Fathers are perfect, problems are created by children
  • If at first you donít succeed, ask your father for a second chance.
  • There may be several opinions, but dadís is the only one that counts.
  • When your father gets quiet, he is planning Ė if he is snoring, the plan worked.
  • Always agree with your father.  Then he cannot say "I told you so!"
  • Never tell father he is wrong, it will only irritate him.
  • Never criticize your fatherís driving unless you prefer walking.
  • If you have your fatherís complete approval, he is probably making a big mistake.
  • You may fool mother but you canít fool dad Ė he pulled the same stunts when he was a kid.
  • You canít keep anything from your father. If you can hide it, he can find it.
  • Never argue with your dad. And if you do, never think you will win.
  • There is no such thing as a father without radar Ė itís standard equipment.
  • There are always exceptions to dadís rules, but he is the one that decides what they are.
  • Experience is something your father will always have more of, and you cannot get enough of.
  • Your father will forgive your mistakes, but that doesnít mean you should repeat them.
  • Fathers are the only judges that can convict without evidence.
  • If you have outgrown your need for fatherly advice, be sure not to mention it to him.
  • No matter what is broken, dad has a tool that can fix it or render it unfixable.
  • If dad does not have an answer, he will pretend not hear the question.
  • Fatherís memory is always better than yours, especially when you borrow his tools.
  • Father is the person that you can always call on - just be sure to call at the right time.
  • Dad owns the remote control, but you are welcome to use the lawnmower.

Copyright 2004 Sheila Moss

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