Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
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Online Since 1999
goodness the elections are over, and we can get back to normal around
here. All the mud slinging was starting to get on my nerves. Iím not
sure all that whoopla does much good anyhow, but politicians often
canít seem to resist.
Finally, the unsightly election "sign farms" which have
sprouted up along roadsides everywhere will come down. They donít
seem to do much other than provide clutter, like the fancy, expensive
campaign literature that is now
crunched up in the trash barrel, much of it never read.
As usual, I failed to early vote and had to go vote on Election Day. I
tried to go after work and, of course, everyone else did too. We have
voting machines, only three voting machines and half of the precinct
was there at one time trying to vote. It was chaos.
No problems with chad and dimples around here. Iíve voted with those
punch ballots elsewhere, though. Hate em. No changing your mind,
unless you want to claim a spoiled ballot. Didnít hear too much
about Florida screwing up this time. Guess they finally figured it
out, or just gave up trying.
I vote at a fire hall, which is an improvement over the last place,
but still pretty bad. It rained all day on Election Day, which turned
the field where we were supposed to park into a sea of mud. Nothing
more fun than wading mud and standing in line to vote.
For some reason, they were less organized than usual. In spite of
good-natured griping, people were generally in an agreeable mood,
though, and waited their turn. I guess thatís one good reason to
wait until Election Day to vote. Seeing the people waiting in line to
vote is a reminder of what democracy is all about and helps one feel
like a part of the process.
I found my line and got my affidavit, then was pointed to the
"real" line. It wound all around the fire hall wall, past
the row of fire helmets and line of boots already stuffed into pants,
ready to go when the alarm sounds. Finally, I made it to the front of the line and did my civic duty. It only took
an hour and a half. At least there were no fire alarms while I was
In Tennessee, the Mayor was elected Governor, and the former Governor
was elected to Congress. Sort of like musical chairs, isnít it? We
did our share here in helping to turn the Senate over to the
Republicans by sending them one of our Republican favorite sons.
After eight years, the Democrats took back the State Capitol, however,
and are probably over there measuring their offices right now while
the patronage employees wave goodbye to their lame-duck bosses and
wonder who will be first to get fired.
The only other big news was that the voters voted for a lottery in
Tennessee. Can you believe it, a lottery in conservative Tennessee?
The lottery was actually the big winner, getting more votes than
either of the candidates for Governor. People must really be tired of
driving all the way to Kentucky to do their gambling.
And thatís about all I have to say regarding the election. I
didnít do a pre-election column, but politicians are way too funny
to miss out on completely. Hope you were all registered and voted
early like Iím going to do next time. I always say that, but this time I mean it. Yes, really!
Copyright 2002 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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