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Meet the
Columnist
Columnist, Sheila
Moss, is a free-lance writer from Tennessee. She writes
funny stuff about southern life, women's issues, family
matters and anything else that she finds amusing.
She is
seen weekly in the Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, Daily News of Kingsport (online) and
appears in a monthly humor publication called Foolish
Times. She has written for Atlanta Woman Magazine,
and a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books have recently published a number of her
articles in their Let There Be Laughter series of
books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous other publications, both print and online.
She is a board member and the Web
Editor of Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
Columnists, the
oldest and largest professional organization
for news columnists. She is also the Web Editor of
SouthernHumorists.com, as well as this website, HumorColumnist.com.
To carry her self- syndicated weekly column in your
newspaper, or
to republish an
article, please contact her.
He rates are guaranteed affordable. It's that easy.
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National
Society of
Newspaper Columnists
HumorColumnist.com
Online Since 1999

Sheila Moss
PO Box 198019
Nashville, TN 37219
E-Mail
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Hooked on eBay... |
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Hooked on eBay
I’m so tired I can’t hold my eyes open, but I can’t fall asleep. I might miss
my final bid on eBay. It all started about a week ago when I decided that a turquoise and silver necklace would be a nice accessory to have.
I put “buy turquoise necklace” in a search engine and eventually found myself on
eBay. I was a bit familiar with eBay as I’ve bought a few things there before;
but I always lose when I bid, and it seems to be too much trouble and easier just to buy things elsewhere.
But I found this necklace that I loved! I had to have it, so I bid on it. And while I was waiting to see if I won, I found some other pretty things, and so I
bid on them too. Then someone outbid me and I had to bid again.
I had it – auction fever.
I was bidding on things left and right. I couldn’t let someone else outbid me,
could I? I was bidding on things I didn’t even want, then praying someone would
outbid me so I wouldn’t have to buy them. Of course, if you really don’t want
something, usually no one else does either.
My “watch” list was getting longer and longer, and my sleep time shorter and
shorter. Just when I thought I was going to win, someone would jump in at the final moment and outbid me.
So that’s the way they want to play, huh?
Well, two could play this game! I quickly learned how the auction game works. I
could swoop in and bid at the last minute too. How I hate that red X that says,
“You have been outbid.”
I began to receive emails from eBay, so many I couldn’t read them all. “You
have been outbid, act now.” “You have only a few hours left.” “Sorry, you have
been outbid.” And occasionally, “Congratulations, you have won this item.”
The problem with winning is that you also have to “Pay the seller now.”
I have items in my “win” list, items in my “lost” list, items in my “watch” list
and am keeping a mental “who gives a flip” list. I was really getting tired of
all this, but I was obsessed and couldn’t quit looking. And when I looked, I always found something I wanted.
Everything was so cheap! That is if you didn’t consider the shipping costs, which are usually high as that is a way the seller assures that they will make a
profit, regardless of the amount the item sells for.
If I could only stay awake long enough to wait until the auction closed on an item, maybe I could get it cheap. Why is it that all the good stuff closes in
the middle of the night? Day after day with only 3 hours of sleep per night was
beginning to wear on me.
Then items I “won” began to come in the mail. It wasn’t expensive stuff, just
cheap semi-precious stones or vintage items that had caught my eye. Of course, I
didn’t really win anything. I bought and paid for it.
My mad money in my PayPal account was dwindling faster than my ability to resist. One more look at
the closing auctions, one more item added to my watch list, one more dollar to outbid that vicious person trying to outbid me. Where does it all end?
I’ve got a bunch of junk coming in the mail every day now – everything but the
turquoise necklace, of course. I’m seeing red X’s everywhere I look – or is
that just the inside of my exhausted eye balls?
There must be a self-help organization for auction addicts. If there is such an
organization; however, somebody is probably trying to sell memberships on eBay.
Wonder how high the bid is?
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Copyright 2008 Sheila Moss
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