Easter Eggs
Grandma’s Way
 You grandchildren come on in here to the kitchen! We are going to have some
fun today! We are going to dye Easter eggs – none of those phony plastic eggs
at grandma’s house. Grandma has REAL eggs, the kind the Easter bunny lays.
Grandma has years of experience with this. I remember when my kids were your age
and we did this every year!
First, we will put newspapers on the floor. Don’t ask; just help me with
the papers. Grandma can’t get down on her knees like she used to. Now, we will
get out the coffee mugs. We need BIG cups so the dye will cover the eggs. Line
them up on the paper where you can reach them.
Okay, now we will open the dye
package and you can put one pill in each cup. NO!!! Don’t eat that pill! Well,
they were non-toxic the box says. We just won’t have any pink eggs this year,
I guess.
Now, add the vinegar… Vinegar??? I always forget about vinegar. Grandma is
getting old. Fortunately, a grandma always keeps a supply of everything. Just
hold this little stepping stool for me while I reach… Uh, oh! It jumped off
the shelf! Don’t cry; grandma broke it. She will clean up the mess. We will
just use pickle juice.
Now, grandma will add water. See the pretty colors? Grandma has already
boiled the eggs for you. (A grandmother has to plan ahead so she can keep up with
the grandkids.) She only cracked 2 or 3 eggs and she can make yummy egg salad out
of those.
Okay, put one egg in each cup! ONE EGG! Well, it slipped, didn’t it? That’s
okay, we have others. Accidents will happen! No! Don’t put your hands in the
cup! Too late… Well, maybe your mom can get it washed off before Easter.
Purple hands won’t match your new Easter outfit very well.
WATCH OUT! Oh no! You dropped the egg basket and squashed them! Well, let’s
clean up the mess; we still have a few left.
No, we can’t use the ones out of
the refrigerator. They have not been boiled. Don’t cry!
What about those little paper things in the box, you say? Those little paper
things are called "tattoos." We will save them for later. I told you
we would SAVE the tattoos! How did that get on your face? I just hope we can
wash it off.
Take the rest of the eggs out of the cups. Use your hands. What
does it matter?
Maybe we should just make potato salad instead of Easter eggs. Potato salad
is always nice.
Yes, you can have the little cardboard things and some
toothpicks to make twirly tops. Here, just put the rest of these tattoos on your
face and go watch cartoons on TV.
Your mother will be here pretty soon to get
you. She can stop at Walmart on the way home and buy you some nice,
plastic Easter eggs with jellybeans inside.
Might as well face it, holidays are
just not what they used to be.
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