Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
To carry her weekly column in your
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Online Since 1999
The Earth Shoes
Summer is here, time for sandals, but my favorite black pair has
fallen apart. What can I do? Maybe I can look on the Internet and find
a pair just like them. So, I search and search and follow dead links
to dead websites until I finally realize that last year's sandals have
gone out of style.
So, I decided to find a different pair, something similar -- but
different. What else could I do? I checked out online shoe stores and
found several pairs that I liked.
I'm a sandals person. I would wear them in winter with socks if people
didn't think I was nuts. I've had all kinds of sandals through the
years. They can be cheap or expensive, but the one thing they must
always be is comfortable, the next thing to going barefoot.
I found a pair that I loved, marked down to $30. I love a bargain as
much as I love sandals. Trouble is, they only came in brown. The other
colors were sold out and the shoes were reduced, undoubtedly to unload
the brown leftovers.
But, I still wanted a pair of black sandals.
I thought about the 70's when we used to wear earth shoes to college.
They looked like regular shoes, but inside the heels were lower than
the toes. Too bad they were a fad and the company quit making them
after a few years.
On a lark, I decided to type "earth shoes" into a search
engine. I couldn't believe my eyes when several places that sold them
popped up. It seems the "going green" trend has created a
new market and they are bringing back earth shoes, I checked them out
and sure enough they were genuine Earth Shoes, just like I remembered
them. I don't remember them being so expensive, though.
"Good for your feet and good for the earth," went the sales
The defining feature of Earth Footwear is a slight angle that
positions the toes higher than the heels. The angle re-distributes
body weight. The inside molds to the shape of the foot and supports
it. Not only that, but they are environmental-friendly, have
biodegradable soles, and come in earth-friendly vegan styles.
I was sold.
What's a hundred bucks when it stands between me and saving the
environment? I couldn't send them my credit card number fast enough.
Who cares if they are the ugly duckling of footwear? It's the way the
shoes feel that counts, and "I'm saving my feet along with the
earth." I wanted to become an earthling, just like the ad said,
and benefit from their innovative technology. I swallowed the media
hype whole. "It's all about being healthy, fit, and true to
myself," I repeated.
When the box arrived in the mail, I couldn't wait to put them on.
Except for the thick soles, they didn't look too bad. But, "Ouch,
what is that big lump under my arch?" My heels went down, my toes
went up. I felt like I was wearing elf shoes. As I pranced about on my
heels, I suddenly remembered that I was much younger when Earth Shoes
went around the first time.
The company advised wearing the shoes for only one hour the first day,
and then adding another hour each day after that to become accustomed
to them. I didn't have time for all that nonsense. I wore them to work
the next day -- all day. My feet were so sore that I could barely walk
afterwards. I had to leave them off for a day or two. After several
tries, I almost adjusted to walking around on my heels. Anything to
save my feet and the earth, I thought, even if it means walking like
Now, if I only had a mood ring I would be set. Wonder if they still
make those too?
Copyright 2010 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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