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Meet the
Columnist
Columnist, Sheila
Moss, is a free-lance writer from Tennessee. She writes
funny stuff about southern life, women's issues, family
matters and anything else that she finds amusing.
She is
seen weekly in the Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, Daily News of Kingsport (online) and
appears in a monthly humor publication called Foolish
Times. She has written for Atlanta Woman Magazine,
and a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books have recently published a number of her
articles in their Let There Be Laughter series of
books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous other publications, both print and online.
She is a board member and the Web
Editor of Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
Columnists, the
oldest and largest professional organization
for news columnists. She is also the Web Editor of
SouthernHumorists.com, as well as this website, HumorColumnist.com.
To carry her self- syndicated weekly column in your
newspaper, or
to republish an
article, please contact her.
He rates are guaranteed affordable. It's that easy.
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HumorColumnist.com
Online Since 1999


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Learning to Drive.... |
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Learning to Drive
At the age of sixteen, one of the most important
things in a teenager’s life is learning to drive. My early driving experience was in an old 50’s Chevrolet
that belonged to my family. It was black and looked a lot like a bug – not the Volkswagen Beetle variety,
but more like a large black roach.
What it lacked in appearance, however, it made up for just by being a set of wheels.
The old Chevy had a clutch and standard transmission. The clutch pedal was next to the brake and every time
you stopped, you had to step on the clutch to disengage the transmission or the motor would die.
You shifted gears a lot with a standard transmission, from low, to second, to high with each stop, while
slowly letting out the clutch after each shift and giving the motor gas.
I did a lot of jerking and killing the motor until I learn how to make it all work together.
Daddy didn’t much want to let me borrow the car keys, but he didn’t want to say no either, so he devised
various ways to discourage me. I had to be able to back it out of the driveway myself if I wanted to
drive the car. That seems easy enough until you find out that the driveway was two narrow strips of
concrete about a foot wide and only about 6 inches from the side of the house. I knew that if I scrapped
the house and wrecked the car that was the end of my driving forever.
Daddy never had the motivation or patience to teach me to drive. I received my driver’s license in summer
school. My friend Kathy and I got up at 6 AM and stood in line at the front door of the high school to
register for the drivers’ education class. Demand exceeded availability.
In the class, a group of four of us were in the car at the same time, Pat, Bugsy, Kathy and me. If Daddy
thought I was an irresponsible driver, he should have seen Bugsy. We sat in the back seat and covered our
eyes when Bugsy took the wheel. Our instructor, Mr. Dumont, had a lot of patience, fortunately, and an
emergency brake on his side of the car.
It was Mr. Dumont who suggested that we would earn trust and use of the car keys easier if we would show
interest in the family car at times other than when we wanted to use it, such as, by offering to wash it.
However, Daddy became wise to that and soon wanted me to wash it first before I could use it to go anywhere.
The old Chevy took me to many a school function and football game in high school and was the cleanest
roach in town.
Being the piece of junk that it was, the car had a few unusual mechanical problems. It would occasionally
lock up and refuse to go. I had to learn to wiggle the part under the hood that would make it unlock.
Eventually, Daddy ingeniously wired the choke to the offending part so it could be wiggled without even
getting out of the car.
Driving in those days was much more of a challenge than it is now with automatic transmissions and
complex computers that prevent imaginative do-it-yourself fixes. Cars were a very big part of
life in the time of drive-in restaurants, drive-in movies, family road trips, and cruising.
Somehow I drove through my teens without accident or incident and earned my access to wheels. Becoming
independent and being able to go places on my own was part of becoming an adult and learning responsibility.
And as an added bonus, driving just about anything else in the world seemed easy after learning to drive
in the old 50’s Chevrolet.
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Copyright 2008 Sheila Moss
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Sheila Moss
Humor Columnist
PO Box 198019
Nashville TN 37219
E-mail
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