Humor Columnist



















Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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Diet Menu....

Good Intentions Diet Menu

~ Monday ~

Aspirin and black coffee - It's Monday!
Didn't have time to fix a sack lunch. Go out for fast food.  Nibble a few French fries and eat a hot dog. Smell of fast food makes me sick. Drink a 7 up to settle my stomach and get a candy bar out of the office vending machine for energy.
Too tired to cook. Order a pizza from the delivery place 
and promise to start dieting tomorrow.

~ Tuesday ~

Drat it! Overslept - Eat cold leftover pizza in the car on the way to work.
Sick - must be the pizza... 
Starving! Need some food FAST! Stop at McBurger's for chef's salad, but by the time I get to front of line to place order, salad becomes Quarter Pounder with large fries and coke. (Boy, they sure make those fries smell good!) Er...Make that a diet coke - still trying to cut down on calories!

~ Wednesday ~

Eating too much fast food - skip breakfast, starting DIET today!
Salad bar with diet dressing and water with lemon
Veggie stir fry and black coffee. 
Go to bed hungry

~ Thursday ~

Starving, but determined! Low fat Granola Bar and fruit flavored yogurt - not bad, so I have another.
Weight Watcher's frozen dinner - Think of all the calories saved!
Eat out: Filet mignon, baked potato, and salad. No sour cream on potato, (After all, I'm on a diet.) Three glasses of wine.  (He ordered a whole bottle and I can't be impolite, can I?)

~ Friday ~

Grapefruit juice and 4 aspirin - must be the wine... 
"Girl's Day Out" - We know a great little Italian place. 
Lasagna with meat sauce.  (It's not on the diet, but what the heck, I deserve it after working all week.)
"Two-for-price-of-one" frozen margaritas and free peanuts during Happy Hour. After two margaritas and a bucket of peanuts, I'm not even hungry for dinner!

~ Saturday ~

Errands to run, things to do - don't have time to eat!
Ditto, have dinner date for tonight anyhow. Need to be hungry. 
I'll just have a few chocolate chip cookies to keep from starving.
Land and Sea (he's buying) - Whoops! Need a doggie bag - they give you way too much food here. No dessert, though, still on a diet - I'll just eat half of his dessert...

~ Sunday ~

Coffee and Danish. 
What the heck, it's the weekend - another sweet roll, please!
Microwave the leftovers from dinner last night, steak and baked potato with dinner roll. (No point wasting it as expensive as it was.)
Microwave popcorn. Okay, I don't want to spend all weekend cooking and I'm not very hungry anyhow after eating lunch. If I get hungry later, I'll just eat some ice cream. I can start my diet next week.

 (See Monday)

Copyright 1999-2005 Sheila Moss

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