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Meet the
Columnist
Columnist, Sheila
Moss, is a free-lance writer from Tennessee. She writes
funny stuff about southern life, women's issues, family
matters and anything else that she finds amusing.
She is
seen weekly in the Daily News of Kingsport and Hill
Country Times and
appears in a monthly humor publication called Foolish
Times. She has written for Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner,
Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books have recently published a number of her
articles in their Let There Be Laughter series of
books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous other publications, both print and online.
She is a board member and the Web
Editor of Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
Columnists, the
oldest and largest professional organization
for news columnists. She is also the Web Editor of
SouthernHumorists.com as well as this website, HumorColumnist.com.
To carry her self- syndicated weekly column in your
newspaper, or
to republish an
article, please contact her. It's that easy.
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National
Society of
Newspaper Columnists
HumorColumnist.com
Online Since 1999

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Diet Menu.... |
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Good Intentions Diet
Menu
~ Monday ~
Breakfast:
Aspirin and black coffee - It's Monday!
Lunch:
Didn't have time to fix a sack lunch. Go out for fast
food. Nibble a few French fries and eat a hot dog. Smell of fast food makes me sick. Drink a 7 up to settle my stomach and get a candy bar out of the office vending machine for energy.
Dinner:
Too tired to cook. Order a pizza from the delivery place
and promise to start dieting tomorrow.
~ Tuesday ~
Breakfast:
Drat it! Overslept - Eat cold leftover pizza in the car on the way to work.
Lunch:
Sick - must be the pizza...
Dinner:
Starving! Need some food FAST! Stop at McBurger's for chef's salad, but by the time I get to front of line to place order, salad becomes Quarter Pounder with large fries and coke. (Boy, they sure make those fries smell good!) Er...Make that a diet coke - still trying to cut down on calories!
~ Wednesday ~
Breakfast:
Eating too much fast food - skip breakfast, starting DIET today!
Lunch:
Salad bar with diet dressing and water with lemon
Dinner:
Veggie stir fry and black coffee.
Go to bed hungry
~ Thursday ~
Breakfast:
Starving, but determined! Low fat Granola Bar and fruit flavored yogurt - not bad, so I have another.
Lunch:
Weight Watcher's frozen dinner - Think of all the calories saved!
Dinner:
Eat out: Filet mignon, baked potato, and salad. No sour cream on potato, (After all, I'm on a diet.) Three glasses of wine.
(He ordered a whole bottle and I can't be impolite, can I?)
~ Friday ~
Breakfast:
Grapefruit juice and 4 aspirin - must be the wine...
Lunch:
"Girl's Day Out" - We know a great little Italian place.
Lasagna with meat sauce. (It's not on the diet, but what the heck, I deserve it after working all week.)
Dinner:
"Two-for-price-of-one" frozen margaritas and free peanuts during Happy Hour. After two margaritas and a bucket of peanuts, I'm not even hungry for dinner!
~ Saturday ~
Breakfast:
Errands to run, things to do - don't have time to eat!
Lunch:
Ditto, have dinner date for tonight anyhow. Need to be hungry.
I'll just have a few chocolate chip cookies to keep from starving.
Dinner:
Land and Sea (he's buying) - Whoops! Need a doggie bag - they give you way too much food here. No dessert, though, still on a diet -
I'll just eat half of his dessert...
~ Sunday ~
Breakfast:
Coffee and Danish.
What the heck, it's the weekend - another sweet roll, please!
Lunch:
Microwave the leftovers from dinner last night, steak and baked potato with dinner roll. (No point wasting it as expensive as it was.)
Dinner:
Microwave popcorn. Okay, I don't want to spend all weekend cooking and I'm not very hungry anyhow after eating lunch. If I get hungry later, I'll just eat some ice cream. I can start my diet next week.
(See Monday)
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Copyright 1999-2005 Sheila Moss
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Sheila Moss
PO Box 198019
Nashville, TN 37219
E-Mail

Seen In

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