Humor Columnist



















Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

    Follow her on 
Facebook and Twitter.

Site Search:


Follow me on Facebook 
Sheila Moss

Create Your Badge
Write on my Wall

National Society of
Newspaper Columnists
Online Since 1999

Losing It....

Losing It

My honey has some excellent qualities, but keeping up with his cell phone is not one of them.  He has misplaced his phone so often that I have lost count of the number of times. 

The other day it happened again. We were in the car heading home after work when he reached for his phone and it wasn’t there. 

"My cell phone is gone!” he exclaimed, as he scrambled around in his pockets while still trying to drive.

“Call the number from my phone and maybe someone will answer. “  But it only rang and rang.  Either no one found it or whoever found it intended to keep it.

“Maybe you lost it in the office?” I suggested.
We circled the block and parked in a no parking zone while he ran inside to check.  Shortly he returned -- phoneless. 

“It wasn’t there.”

“Did you check with security?” 

“Yes, they didn’t have it.”

We returned to the parking garage, checked the stairs, checked around where the car was parked, called the number.  Nothing.  Finally, we gave up. 

“Maybe you left it at home?  When is the last time you remember using it?”

"I can't remember."

So, I called and asked my daughter to look for it.  Maybe he dropped it in the yard when walking the dog.  It wouldn’t be the first time.

Soon she called back.  “I found it,” she said, “I called his number and heard music in the bedroom.”
Well, at least it is found.  End of crisis, this time.

We once spent an hour checking everywhere we had been in an entire office park. I found that phone weeks later at home under the bed. It had already been disconnected and replaced, of course. 

Another time we found one in the wet grass where he had walked the dog. 

He always gets insurance in case of loss.  Someone like him had better have good insurance.  However, even with insurance you can only get a phone replaced a limited number of times until they no longer want your business.

Strangely, lost phones always seem to show up eventually, but not until you give up hope, have it deactivated, and get a new one.   The best time to find one is right away, while it still rings and before the battery goes dead -- or the day after you buy a new one.

No one is perfect, of course.  I lost mine once in the parking garage.  I called the number and someone answered.  I was lucky. 

My daughter lost my phone once in a resort in Texas.  We spent days looking and asking only to have the hotel call a month after we got home to say someone had turned it in.  It had already been replaced.

I found a cell phone once on a hospital parking lot.  I just turned it in to security and let them deal with finding the owner.  My daughter said she has found two at gas stations while pumping gas.   I imagine airports and restaurants probably have boxes of them. 

Losing cell phones seems to be an epidemic.  Usually people are honest and return them.  If you return them to the cell phone company, do they return them to the owner?  Or should you call every number in the phone’s directory saying, “I found this phone.”

Phones with GPS trackers seem like a good idea, but even with those you can only find the general area where the phone is and not a specific spot.  Also, the cost for tracking is probably not worthwhile for a cell phone. 

So, I don’t know what the answer is other than being careful. 

If you figure something out, let me know.  I think I’ll go check and be sure mine is still in my purse. 



Copyright 2008 Sheila Moss

Get the
Humor Columnist Newsletter

Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN  37219


Buy it now!
$5.00 + shipping

      home · best . columns · humor · archives · contact  
    © Copyright 1999-2015 Sheila Moss - All rights reserved - © Template by
The copyright for this website and the material on this website are owned by Sheila Moss.
You may request permission to use the copyrighted materials on this website by writing to Sheila Moss.
Use of these copyrighted materials without written permission may result in legal action against you.