Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
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Online Since 1999
honey has some excellent qualities, but keeping up with his cell
phone is not one of them. He has misplaced his phone so
often that I have lost count of the number of times.
The other day it happened again. We were in the car heading home
after work when he reached for his phone and it wasn’t there.
"My cell phone is gone!” he exclaimed, as
he scrambled around in his pockets while still trying to drive.
“Call the number from my phone and maybe someone will answer.
“ But it only rang and rang. Either no one found
it or whoever found it intended to keep it.
“Maybe you lost it in the office?” I suggested.
We circled the block and parked in a no parking zone while he
ran inside to check. Shortly he returned -- phoneless.
“It wasn’t there.”
“Did you check with security?”
“Yes, they didn’t have it.”
We returned to the parking garage, checked the stairs, checked
around where the car was parked, called the number.
Nothing. Finally, we gave up.
“Maybe you left it at home? When is the last time you
remember using it?”
"I can't remember."
So, I called and asked my daughter to look for it. Maybe
he dropped it in the yard when walking the dog. It
wouldn’t be the first time.
Soon she called back. “I found it,”
she said, “I called his number and heard music in the
Well, at least it is found. End of crisis, this time.
We once spent an hour checking everywhere we had been in an
entire office park. I found that phone weeks later at home
under the bed. It had already been disconnected and replaced, of
Another time we found one in the wet grass where he had walked
He always gets insurance in case of loss. Someone like him
had better have good insurance. However, even with
insurance you can only get a phone replaced a limited number of
times until they no longer want your business.
Strangely, lost phones always seem to show up eventually, but
not until you give up hope, have it deactivated, and get a new
one. The best time to find one is right away, while
it still rings and before the battery goes dead -- or the day
after you buy a new one.
No one is perfect, of course. I lost mine once in the
parking garage. I called the number and someone answered.
I was lucky.
My daughter lost my phone once in a resort in Texas. We
spent days looking and asking only to have the hotel call a
month after we got home to say someone had turned it in. It
had already been replaced.
I found a cell phone once on a hospital parking lot. I
just turned it in to security and let them deal with finding the
owner. My daughter said she has found two at gas stations
while pumping gas. I imagine airports and
restaurants probably have boxes of them.
Losing cell phones seems to be an epidemic. Usually people
are honest and return them. If you return them to the cell
phone company, do they return them to the owner? Or should
you call every number in the phone’s directory saying, “I
found this phone.”
Phones with GPS trackers seem like a good idea, but even with
those you can only find the general area where the phone is and
not a specific spot. Also, the cost for tracking is
probably not worthwhile for a cell phone.
So, I don’t know what the answer is other than being careful.
If you figure something out, let me know. I think I’ll
go check and be sure mine is still in my purse.
Copyright 2008 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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