Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
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Online Since 1999
other Saturday I was down at the local Wal-Mart, rushing around
on my normal Saturday grocery trip and trying to avoid bumping
into other shoppers with my cart. As I turned a corner on two
wheels, I looked up and what do I see but a guy that looks just
Now, I'm sure you know who Caveman is. In fact, is there a
person alive that does not know who the Caveman is? Yes, I'm
speaking about the one in the TV insurance commercials. He's
become almost as famous as Mr. Whipple was back in the 60's -
for a different product, of course.
I was smiling in my head and thinking that probably I was the
only person in the entire world that would think that poor,
harried guy looked just like Caveman. I really need to stop
watching so much television, I thought.
However, about that time, I heard a tiny voice behind me coming
from another cart being pushed by another shopper.
"Daddy, daddy," the voice squealed, "I saw
Caveman!" Yes, he looked so much like Caveman that even a
child could see it.
Now, had I been the ambitious sort of columnist that I should
be, I would have made an immediate U-turn with my shopping cart
and chased down the Caveman look-alike for an interview.
"Do people ever tell you that you look just like
Caveman?" I could have asked.
"How does it make you feel to know that if it's easy
enough, even a caveman can do it?"
"Do you enjoy being a caveman type?"
"By the way, what kind of car insurance do you have?"
However, in my wild pursuit for my favorite chocolate flavored
yogurt from the refrigerated section, I blew it entirely and
missed my lifetime opportunity. It's probably just as well,
though. What if he had hit me over the head with his club?
Had I approached him, would he have been flattered? Would he
have been annoyed? Would a Mrs. Caveman have told me to mind my
own beeswax? I guess I'll never know.
The "real" Caveman, the one on TV, is thought by some
ladies to be handsome. I can't see it myself, but maybe I just
don't like caveman-types.
Probably it is his sweet and sensitive disposition which women
find attractive instead of his hairy looks. It probably also
helps that he doesn't go around in animal skins, and that he
walks upright instead of on all fours.
Cavemen have done a lot for the world, you know. They discovered
fire, invented the wheel, wrote the first language on the walls
of their caves, and were the inspiration for Flintstones
cartoons. The TV Caveman is insulted by comments that suggest he
is somehow less than intelligent because of the way he
Obviously, there is a message here about something more than
insurance. Caveman represents a group of people that other
people do not understand and treat in an insensitive, cruel or
uncaring way. It makes you wonder who is really primitive and
who has actually evolved to a higher intellectual level.
But, anyhow, I finished my grocery shopping and waited in line
to checkout. I never did see the caveman again. Probably he went
out through the self-checkout lane.
I really hate those self-checkout lanes and have never quite
been able to figure them out. Yes, yes, I know what you are
thinking --- so easy a caveman can do it.
Copyright 2007 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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