Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
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Online Since 1999
||Bubba's New Year's
Bubba's New Year's Resolution
people spend a lot of energy at this time of the year trying to
change their behavior. We've decided to interview a well-known
good ol' boy and see what he thinks about some of the most common
New Year's Resolutions.
Columnist: A very popular resolution is to drink less
Bubba: It's not drinking that's the problem - it's not
knowing when to quit and making a darn fool of yourself.
Columnist: Well, what about eating more healthy food?
Bubba: Does that mean no more fried chicken, fried taters,
fried catfish, fried pork chops, fried cornbread, fried squash,
fried okra, fried green tomatoes, and fried pies? How can it be
bad when it tastes so good?
Columnist: It seems a lot of people want to improve by
getting more education. Could you use a bit of learning?
Bubba: Experience always has and always will be the best
teacher. The more education you have, the more you realize that
you don't know squat anyhow.
Columnist: What about trying to get a better job?
Bubba: Blue collar workers are what made the country great.
Learn to be satisfied with what you are and quit making yourself
miserable trying to be something you're not.
Columnist: Lack of exercise is another big problem. Many
people vow to get fit.
Bubba: Fit for what? Don't need to be able to outrun
anybody as long as you stay on the right side of the law and pay
Columnist: But, don't you want to diet or lose weight?
Bubba: You'll just gain it back. With all there is going on
in the world, can't you think of something to worry about besides
the size of your own behind?
Columnist: There are a lot of people with financial
problems. What about resolving to manage debt?
Bubba: The best way to manage debt is not to make it in the
first place. Buy what you can pay for and make do. That's just
common horse sense. What's the next one?
Columnist: Okay, resolving to manage stress is a good
Bubba: Stress comes from trying to do too much. Go with the
flow. There's always tomorrow. Most of what we push ourselves to
do could be left undone without hurting a thing.
Columnist: Nearly everyone thinks smoking is a good
thing to quit.
Bubba: If we were not smoking, we would be chewing,
dipping, or puffing. If that's the worst thing we do, we are
probably better off than most.
Columnist: How about helping the environment by reusing
Bubba: Shucks, I've always done that. Don't let nothing go
to waste. We save our old cars for spare parts, use our old couch
as porch furniture, and sell our aluminum cans and scrap metal by
the pound. Anything else can be used for target practice.
Columnist: Would you like to save more money?
Bubba: You can't take it with you. You might as well spend
it while you've got it, before the government figures out another
way to take it away from you.
Columnist: A lot of people want to travel or take that
big trip they've put off.
Bubba: Seeing how other people live can help you appreciate
how good you've got it compared to some. But regardless of where
you visit, there's no place like home.
Columnist: What about helping others more?
Bubba: Yep, always help out your friends and kinfolk. Never
know when you might have to call on them, and it's always better
to be owed a favor than to owe one.
Columnist: So there you have it folks, the lowdown on
resolutions. It doesn't sound to me as if Bubba plans to do much
Bubba: Do the best you can stop worrying about what you
can't do. Now, git out of my way! It's almost midnight and I've
gotta shoot my shotgun up in the air and celebrate.
Copyright 2011 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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