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Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of

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Economics for blondes....

Economics for blondes

Money, money, money. Thatís all people seem to be talking about these days. It seems that we are all going to go broke, be homeless, and have no job sooner or laterÖ through no fault of our own, of course, but due to government, the economy, and big business.

I see a lot of suggestions on how to avoid it, such as consolidating my debt into one big bill that I canít pay instead of a having a lot of small unpaid ones. It is called MasterDebt. How appropriate. Somehow Iíve always been of the opinion that I couldnít borrow myself out of debt. Obviously, I'm blonde when it comes to economic matters. 

It seems that home loans are not covered by MasterDebt. If I canít pay my mortgage, experts have another solution. Interest on loans is low now, they say it is a good time to re finance the variable interest rate that is putting me and my MasterDebt card into the poor house. This is the way I can avoid foreclosure.

Chances are that if Iíve gotten myself so far in that I am consolidating debt, refinancing, and borrowing from Peter to pay Paul, I am not credit worthy, however, and I canít get a new mortgage loan. So, I might as well reserve a spot in the soup line and go broke early before the homeless shelters are all full. At least I wonít have to pay property taxes. 

Presuming I still have a job, I will have to pay income taxes, however, unless I am wealthy enough to have tax shelters and know how to avoid it. Since all the money I make is going to pay MasterDebt, ballooning interest payments, and taxes, it hardly seems worth the effort. 

If I had no income, I would have no taxes. But, without tax payers, the government wouldnít be able to bail out the banks and auto makers so they can continue to overcharge me while I pay off high interest loans and MasterDebt. 

Somehow, no matter how simple it all seems, the average blonde just canít come out on top. If the auto industry goes out of business, I will be stuck with an obsolete, gas guzzling, Chevy that I canít get parts for and canít sell because it is suddenly worthless. 

Of course, that isnít going to happen as the government will continue to keep automakers afloat, at least for a while. So I need to get rid of that automobile now, before itís too late. If I donít have a job, I probably wonít need a car anyhow.

Things are finally all starting to come together. As I said to start with, we are all going to be broke, homeless, and unemployed before it is over so why worry myself to death about it? Whoís going to bail me out? Well, no one. If I am broke, homeless and unemployed, I am on my own. 

So I need to follow the advice of the experts and keep on spending to stimulate the economy now why there is still time. I should have plenty of credit available since I consolidated my loans into a MasterDebt. 

Where does it all end? I have no idea. If I did, I would go there and collect. 

Copyright 2009 Sheila Moss


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