Humor Columnist



















Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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Blessings Revisited

May the road rise to meet you, may the wind be always at your back, may the sun shine warmly upon your face, and the rain fall soft upon your fields, and until we meet again, may the Lord hold you in the hollow of His hand.

This is an old Gaelic blessing often quoted. Many such classic blessings are inspirational and reflect the qualities of the folk represented. However, we can think of a lot of other blessings that might be more representative of the sort of good wishes we would like to have. 

While the traditional blessing is nice enough, as far as it goes, it just doesn’t go far enough. So we are going to add a few more blessings of our own. . . just to be sure that the actual needs are all covered:

May the wind at your back never mess up your hair,

May the icy road not slide out from under your car,

May your furnace be warm and your gas or electric bill low,

May the snow fall soft upon the fields, but not upon your driveway,

May your snow shovel not break and your salt supply be plentiful,

May your car start in the morning and your door locks not be frozen,

May the check out lines at the grocery store be short,

May your credit be good and your credit card never exceed the limit,

May your appliances never break down and your water pipes never freeze,

May your medical tests all be negative and your attitude positive,

May your zippers always zip and your buttons never fall off,

May your clothes never get tight around the waist and may you never need to diet or exercise,

May you always remember to let the dog outside for his potty time.

May you remember to floss when you brush and to squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom.

May you never run out of milk or bread in the middle of the week,

May your coffee pot never be empty and your coffee canister always be full,

May you always have clean underwear in the morning,

May your children and grandchildren remember to flush,

May you always be able to remember where you left the car keys,

May your purchases all fit and never need to be returned,

May you always be able to find a parking place at the mall,

May the drive thru bank window never be closed and the teller machine never run out of money,

May your hard drive never crash and your ISP never become disconnected,

May your advice be appreciated and never ignored,

May your feet never ache and your nose never run,

And until we meet again, may God hold you in his hand, and if he sneezes, may he remember to use a handkerchief.

Copyright 2001 Sheila Moss


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