Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
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Online Since 1999
||Singing Bird Clock....
The other day I was strolling
along in the local discount mart when what should I spy but
a "Singing Bird Clock." Wow, for under $20 this was a
deal! A genuine plastic, Singing Bird Clock, approved by
the Birdwatchers' Society, as seen on TV. I could hardly control my
I've always loved birds,
especially the colorful backyard variety. I've put up bird
feeders, bought sunflower seed, even studied a pocket guide to
try and identify my favorites. I've never quite been
involved enough to take a course or go out with field glasses to
bird watch or anything radical. But, birds can be beautiful
and their songs are enjoyable to hear.
Yep, a Singing Bird Clock would
be a lovely addition to my home, I decided as, I chunked it
into my shopping cart.
Now in case you should be one of the very few people in the
world who has not seen a commercial on TV for a Singing
Bird Clock, let me explain how it works. It is sort of like a regular
clock, to a point. The numbers have been replaced with pictures
of birds, and when the clock strikes the hour, the bird
sings. Pretty cute, huh? Yeah, that's what I thought. Kind of a modern
version of a cuckoo clock - except this cuckoo brought friends.
The bird sounds are, to the
clock maker's credit, very authentic recordings of actual birds
calls. It must have been hell getting them into a recording
studio and up to the microphone, but that's another story.
Anyhow, the bird clock was hung in the den, and I could hardly
wait for the hour to strike so I could hear the birds sing.
And sing they did… and sing…and sing…and sing…every
hour… all day… every day… day after day… rain or
shine… There is a mockingbird, a chickadee, a cardinal, a
woodpecker (yes!), a goose, a wren, a robin, a sparrow, a
kingfisher, a titmouse, an oriole, and last, but far from
least -- believe me -- a great horned owl!
They seem to have a knack
for singing at the time when I least expect it. Imagine being
deep in thought and suddenly having a goose honk out at
you, or being in another room and hearing a terrible commotion,
only to realize it is just the clock reaching the hour and a
kingfisher joyfully celebrating the occasion.
Well, I'm not sure how much more joyful celebrating I'm going to
be able to stand. The dog runs to the clock every time it
chirps, wondering what in the world is this noise all about. The cat,
strangely, is unaffected and seems to take it in stride and
ignore it. Being a longtime bird watcher and practically a
card carrying member of the Audubon Club, I think, perhaps, she
instinctively knows the difference between a real bird and a
The only redeeming feature of
this warbling tick-tock is a light sensor that prevents it from
singing all night. Kind of makes me wonder if the makers
didn't have a hunch that it might become a pest.
Well, I'd really love to write
more, but it's half past the titmouse and soon going to strike the oriole.
I'm in a great hurry to turn out the light and put my feathered
friends to sleep for the night. For some reason I have a
feeling that Singing Bird Clocks may be a very popular item at garage
sales soon. If you want one, you can probably get it for a song.
Copyright 1998 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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