Baghdad Natalie and
The Dixie Chickens
TN - Americans were enraged when Baghdad Natalie of the top
rated country music group, the Dixie Chickens, recently made an
anti-war comment to a sympathetic foreign concert audience,
saying that she was ashamed that the President of the United
States is from her home state of Texas.
This was severe blow to the administration and
supporters of the war who had hoped to receive the endorsement
of the Dixie Chickens due to their large political following.
Without the wholehearted support of the country music industry,
it is feared that American troops will have an insufficient
number of patriotic, red, white and blue country songs to
appropriately inspire them for battle.
Enraged fans have burned their Dixie Chicken
concert tickets in protest and are using the group's CD's for
playing Frisbee instead of the formerly popular AOL disks. AOL
has held the lead in the "free Frisbee" market for
some time with their disk giveaway program. Using a purchase CD
for a Frisbee is totally unprecedented.
In an exclusive interview, a radio station in
Iraq questioned Saddam about Baghdad Natalie's comment from his
bombproof bunker underneath his lavish palace.
"Baghdad who?" replied Saddam.
"She's an American singer."
"Is she a virgin?" asked Saddam.
"It's hard to find a virgin these days and with the
American troops coming into Baghdad, it will probably soon be
Americans were immediately offended by the
implication that the American military would ravage virgins,
which would be a direct violation of the rules of war
established at the Geneva Convention, which are closely adhered
to by Saddam Hussein and his Iraqi followers when judging
behavior of other countries.
When Baghdad Natalie was questioned about her
controversial comment, she sobbed, "I have sinned, but I
didn't mean it!" twirling a lock of blond hair in remorse.
Baghdad Natalie is considered the most likely
successor to the anti-war protest position formerly held by the
legendary Hanoi Jane, an American movie actress who achieved
fame for protesting during the Vietnam War era. As a singer,
Baghdad Natalie is expected to write and perform her own war
protest songs with guitar backup provided by the Dixie Chickens.
She denies that money played any part in her anti-war stance,
It is a widely held opinion that entertainers
are political experts since they frequently express their own
personal opinions publicly, whether they are informed on the
issues or not. Stars opinions are highly regarded by everyone
except members of the military community, who think they are
full of hot air. Many entertainers, however, have successfully
changed careers and moved into the arena of public office.
"Do you plan to run for political
office?" supporters have asked Baghdad Natalie.
"Look! I said I was sorry. I was only
trying to please an anti-American crowd. Surely that's
"So, how do we know if you are really
sorry, or if you are just trying to please a pro-American crowd
since your comment backfired?" quizzed her former
The other members of the Dixie Chickens group
have refused to comment or take a stand on the incident. It has
been privately suggested that Baghdad Natalie made the comment
at the suggestion of a publicist, as she is not smart enough to
have a political opinion herself. This has been disputed by the
spokesperson for the group, also a blond.
Traditionally conservative and patriotic,
country music fans are happy to have a way to show support for
American troops by boycotting radio stations that play records
by the Dixie Chickens. Although it is claimed that sales of
their new album have not been affected by the incident, the
Chickens have remained out of the country. Allegedly they are
afraid to return and face hostile country music fans, many of
which are known to have pickup trucks with gun racks, and to be