Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
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Online Since 1999
||All I Want for Christmas...
I Want for Christmas
little granddaughter came in the other day smiling with her two
front teeth missing. She's at that age when the baby teeth go
and the permanent teeth come in.
"Where did your teeth go?" I asked. Silly question.
"I went to the dentist and he pulled them." She
"Do you know that song 'All I want for Christmas is my two
She said that she did. Bless her heart. Her permanent teeth were
starting to erupt and it seems that the thing to do now is to
get the baby teeth extracted so the others do not come in
crooked or behind the other ones. Actually, what she probably
needs for Christmas is her dental bill paid, but we won't go
When I was a kid, baby teeth were pulled by tying a string to a
door knob and the other end to the tooth and slamming the door.
This seems a bit brutal now that I think of it. I think I just
wiggled and wiggled my loose teeth until they finally were loose
enough to fall out.
I asked her if she went to sleep for them to be pulled and she
said "No, he just pulled them." I think maybe she just
doesn't remember or else they were really loose already.
Whatever, they are gone and she is okay with it.
These days it is hard to know what to get people for Christmas.
Most of the people on my list already have their two front teeth
and want gift cards or money. Seems so crass, but why give them
something they don't want? Actually, I really like gift cards
My grandson, at 12 years old, long ago got his two front teeth
and found out about the Santa myth. Usually, he wants gift
cards, which he calls "credit cards." This year,
however, he came up with something better, an upgrade on his
They tell me the popular gifts this year will be electronics:
iPhones, iPods, and iPads. Boy, the price of Christmas keeps
going up, just like the price of dentistry. If they get an IPad
this year, it makes me wonder what they will be asking for next
year. But I suppose the thing to do is worry about one year at a
Little kids like my granddaughter are easy to buy for. They like
everything and the assortment of toys is unending. She probably
has a list for Santa already. That's good, since her teeth will
have to be a gift from nature, not from Santa.
Christmas has gotten way out of hand. In spite of Black Friday,
Cyber Monday, and the endless ads and catalogs that come in the
mail, people say they already have everything they want. I guess
that means everything but an iPad.
What I really need the most is for everything in the house to
quit breaking at the same time. The septic tank backed up, the
washing machine broke down, the car had to have a battery, and
the phone quit working, all in the last few weeks. That is not
to even mention how the chandelier fell out of the ceiling and
crashed on the table for no reason at all.
Maybe Santa could bring me some better luck. Either that or he
should avoid my house altogether as he may break a leg –
or lose his two front teeth.
If you know of a way to bring good luck to your home, please let
me know. In the meantime I'm trying to think of a way to get my
granddaughter to sing "All I want for Christmas is my two
front teeth" so I can make a video. Now that would truly be
a gift that is priceless.
Copyright 2010 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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